William Allen Jordan, Accused CAD, Locked Up in NJ!

New Jersey women can sleep easier tonight knowing that Florence police stepped forward to protect their sexual sanctity. William Allen Jordan, a convicted pedophile and bigamist, was handcuffed and detained for, among other crimes, "sexual assault by coercion."

Jordan, also known as William Allen, Liam Allen, and Will Jordan is the subject of the book, "The Bigamist, The True Story of a Husband's Ultimate Betrayal," by Mary Turner Thomson.

The victim, who was present during the NJ arrest, commented that Jordan "hardly showed emotion" as officers led him to their squad car. Once she uncovered his con, and understood the harm he'd dealt her throughout several months of fraud, she bravely became bait to set up his arrest.

Jordan, who served time for molesting the 13 year old daughter of a former "love interest," allegedly created a hoax to ensnare this mother of a 13 year old girl into a sexual relationship. She got wise to him, but not before he allegedly conned her out of several thousands of dollars.

Additional information available on LoveFraud.
http://www.lovefraud.com/2014/04/24/lovefraud-con-man-william-allen-jordan-busted-by-his-latest-victim-in-new-jersey/

Is Rape Law Still in the Dark Ages?

A new case in New Jersey, over the behavior of William Allen Jordan, will soon test that concept. 

Enforcers will determine whether rape law protects a person’s right to self determination over their personal sexual intimacy. They could decide that choice simply does not matter at all, or they could protect the victim’s entitlement to choice based on the same rights granted in every other human interaction.

Way back when Rome ruled the world, rape was established as a crime only when a woman who was a virgin, and not a slave, was victimized. “Harm” was allocated to the owner of her virginity, the head of her household, and our laws have not progressed much from there.

Today, some states have laws to protect married women from being hoodwinked into sexual intercourse with a man who pretends to be her husband, but those same states fail to apply the same principal to an unmarried woman if a man pretends to be her boyfriend. Impostor rape, also known as rape by fraud, where biographical information is fraudulent, is the same in both situations. But it is treated as a crime against a married woman only because her husband is cheated of his wife's purity. 

The egregious concept behind this misguided mindset is that defrauding a married woman commits adultery against her husband and is, therefore, a criminal offense. Rape law fails to recognize that the woman’s marital status, and who the offender pretended to be are irrelevant. That they pretended to be a person they were not robbed the victim of the “knowing consent” they were entitled to in deciding who to engage in sex with.

Most states have yet to recognize or embrace the real harm in rape….. the violation of one’s most intimate core, the breach of self determination regarding one’s own personal sexuality. Our laws struggle with concepts that dance around what rape really is. Instead, they focus on what penetrates, where it penetrates, how it penetrates and who it penetrates. They hark back to the origins of the laws with little concern to the real victim of the crime. They lack the simple concept that any sexual penetration without “knowing consent,” is rape. 

Criminal code for invading a person’s integrity abound in every other aspect of human interaction. One can be punished for achieving personal gain through assault, coercion, fraud, deceit, theft, robbery, or any means that breaches the “covenant of good faith” or “knowing consent” between two parties. If a person lied about biographical information to consummate a business transaction, criminal code exists to recognize and penalize such wrongdoing as fraud. But to lie about biographical information to defraud a victim of sex is blithely treated as the “puffery” of seduction, as if property has more value to a person than their basic and most intimate sexual autonomy.

Rape never goes away. The victim carries a sense of defilement in their psyche for a lifetime. People who are raped are thirteen times more apt to commit suicide than people who are not. It’s time to speak out and let our lawmakers know that all types of rape…..  by assault, by treachery, date rape, statutory rape, rape by mental incapacity- whether permanent or temporary, rape by fraud or deceit, and rape by coercion, should all be punishable offenses throughout a moral society.

We will soon know whether the laws in New Jersey protect a woman's right to knowingly choose who they have sex with or not. Stay tuned for the results.

Can "The Bachelor" teach us about the power of oxytocin?

This season's "The Bachelor" conveyed a troubled scenario that frequently occurs but is rarely understood. Most young romantics are unaware that "chemistry" is actually taking place during seduction. The neurotransmitter, oxytocin, is released internally, within our brains, as the result of affection. And this "chemical" reaction cleaves us to our love interests. Romantic love is actually a form of addiction.

If we consciously imbibed a chemical to make our brain feel a certain way, we could recognize and stop the process. But when the chemical we are reacting to is hidden from our view, we don't even comprehend that it's motivating us.

Juan Pablo is a master of seduction. His gaze, stroking a woman's face, (which he frequently does whenever she has something meaningful to say...and particularly, that he wants to avoid), other kind, trust building gestures are designed to melt away objection and create a sense of bonding. It's not a bad thing.... in fact, we would never create families without it. It can be misused, however, and also, misjudged.

Everyone wants to be loved. It's inherent in our nature. And we all have differing levels of oxytocin production, and differing reactions to it. Some of the women, Andi and Sharlene in particular, went through a tug of war between what they cerebrally comprehended, and what JP's seductive behavior made them feel. In the end, these two women were able to distance themselves from the shallowness of the relationship. But even for them, the battle going on in their psyche was painful.

JP probably did Clare a huge favor. And it's likely he did so because he sensed that she could not be strung along for as long as he can fool Nicky. Clare was more outspoken about the mixed signals she received from him. He likely senses Nicky's love for him as more "unconditional." JP simply dismisses the rejection of the women who don't love him "unconditionally." Why would he care that they reject him because his own attachment lacks depth, as one can clearly see in how distanced and disconnected he was toward Clare's admonishment at the end.

JP's agenda has more to do with a "Mom" for his daughter, than "love" from him. Is he capable of "loving" Nicky? His inability to express it should run up the red flag, With sufficient exposure to a lack of validation, she might sober up, but it will be immensely heart wrenching.

Join the fight to combat RAPE by FRAUD or DECEIT from state to state.

You can register your information and indicate any skills you possess that can enable us to bring this problem to the forefront. Please indicate if you have media contacts or contacts with legislators in your state. Also, sorely needed are people who have writing talent and people who can make phone calls.

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Like love, CAD can be both a noun and a verb!

LOVE is expressed as both the feeling of caring as well as the action we take to convey that feeling.

CAD, can be used both to define the individual who harms another by employing Carnal Abuse by Deceit to breach knowledgeable consent for sexual intercourse, as well as the action taking place. When a predator lies to induce another to perform the sex act, they are a "cad" and they are "cadding" their victim. When those lies involve "impostering", claiming identity characteristics that are false, they are conducting "rape by fraud."

So why don't victims readily identify this abuse and exit the relationship?

While the reaction to betrayal can differ from person to person, basic brain chemistry can explain the toxic glue that often binds.

Our brain manufactures chemicals to cleave us to a love interest. It's natures way of providing nurture for our developing offspring. For some, these chemicals can be more intense than for others, depending on both our nature and our nurture. When betrayal is discovered, the brain can undergo "shock" in much the same way it reacts to physical pain.

With physical pain, adrenaline can mask suffering, and in betrayal, the brain can also play tricks on us.

In particular, oxytocin provides us with trust and affection when we sense the presence of our love interest. Even when we know that we have been conned, their scent, their sound, their image will continue bonding us. Romantic love is a form of addiction; we have become physically "addicted" to that person.

When an alcoholic attempts to end their chemical reliance on alcohol, its absence causes them to crave. In much the same way, elimination of oxytocin and other neurotransmitters that functioned as a result of affection causes craving and longing. It's this heightened desire that acts like a toxic bond.

Today, we have a variety of methods for eliminating cravings to drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Once, the only solution was "cold turkey;" the ability to use intensely focused will power to cease dependence. Modern neuroscience has yet to offer the magic pill that will enable us to combat toxic bonds.

The ability to recognize and live in the reality, combined with therapy, support of friends and family, activities to enhance our self esteem and kick up our "endorphin" levels, implementing a policy of "No Contact" with the offender, and when prescribed, the use of anti-depressants to help us through, could propel us back onto an emotionally stable path.

Does Love Potion #9 Really Exist?

The hit record written by Leiber & Stoller back in 1959, Love Potion #9, was originally recorded by The Clovers and published by the Aberbach brothers who owned Hill & Range Songs Inc. It’s been covered by over twenty five other artists since its original release. Although it’s a spoof on a chemical concoction that makes people fall in love, it’s not so far from the truth.

Romantic love has recently been shown to be a chemical addiction, similar to drugs and alcohol, but, when all goes well, it supports life instead of diminishing it. The chief chemical component in romantic love is oxytocin, a neurotransmitter produced in the brain that creates a sense of trust and cleaves us to our love interests. When we are betrayed, although we may feel abused and defiled, we can continue clinging to the offender because of our need to replace that “loved” feeling. The immediate cessation of the chemicals we recognize as love, may cause us to long for the treacherous culprit just like an alcoholic craves a drink.

“No Contact” is all about getting rid of the desire and longing that comes with separation. The victim must be able to gain perspective that enables them to see the forest, not just the trees. The bigger picture, the moral depravation of the betraying party, is far too important to allow ourselves to camouflage their actions by attributing good feelings to them. It is too easy for a predator to misuse our brain chemistry to wangle their way back into our lives.

Interestingly, the Aberbach fortune existed in the backdrop of the harm I was dealt. They owned a 50% share of Elvis Presley, 10% of the Beatles, and 75% of the music coming out of Nashville. My ex was harbored by Jean Aberbach's widow as he abandoned my child and defrauded me of child support. The irony of oxytocin being akin to Love Potion #9 is particularly poignant for me. 

Differing Paths to Get That Predator Out of Your Life

The best known ways to break free of a predator are to either eliminate all contact or minimize all emotion in dealing with them. Here are the hows and whys of each method.

NO CONTACT

Romantic love is a form of addiction. Our brains are wired to cleave to our love interests through the production of brain chemistry. It enables us to be trusting and responsive to the voice, smell and touch of another. The most critical chemical component in love is oxytocin, a neurotransmitter. Interestingly, a lack of this same chemical produces the failure of affective empathy to develop in young children and produces the character disorders we know as Cluster B personalities.

When we have contact with a love interest, even one in which betrayal has taken place, our oxytocin receptors begin to operate. We fall back into the patterns of bonding, and have a difficult time suppressing the longing that develops. Part of why we return to a predatory relationship is because our chemical longing for romantic love has yet to subside. Reverting to the predator, even momentarily, sets our oxytocin receptors into motion and prolongs the time frame in which we feel longing.

An alcoholic would consciously recognize their need for a drink to stabilize their craving. But the craving for romantic love lies totally behind our consciousness in the recesses of our brain. If we were alcoholics craving a drink, ultimately the cure would be to remove ourselves from all alcohol consumption because we would have a difficult time controlling our attachment. The same is true for eliminating the attachment to a relationship.

No Contact is the most effective means to break away. It's like going "cold turkey" if you were to quit smoking. Your nicotine attachment would eventually wane and you would begin to feel normal in time. For anyone whose relationship with a predator was not encumbered by business attachments, monetary interests or mutual children to raise, No Contact is the most powerful tool to separate quickly and entirely.

GRAY ROCK

What's the image that comes to mind when you think of a big, gray rock? If it's "boring" you're catching on! Morally disordered predators derive their jollies by getting a rise out of you. They don't care if its good or bad, as long as it's something. Their interest is control and making you do something, anything, feeds their ego. Some disordered folks would prefer the negative, rather than the positive response, even if it hurts them. They receive greater satisfaction in being hurt, than being ignored. So thinking that exploding or unloading will negatively impact them, is untrue.

Ever hear of the law of the soggy potato chip? Here's how it works....

If a small child sits facing you and you hold a piece of candy in one hand and a soggy potato chip in the other, which would they reach out for? By and large, it would be the piece of candy. If you hold a soggy potato chip in one hand and nothing in the other what will they do? The likelihood is that they'll reach for the soggy potato chip.

Like a small child, a "Cluster B" will take any control over your behavior that you give them, good, bad or indifferent. Instead of giving them control, you need to become a big, gray rock. Gray rocks don't give anything. They are simply there, but "there "is a state of neither positive nor negative acknowledgement.

Some instances in which gray rocking is the necessary path to emotional separation include co-parenting, involvement in a business relationship, or when it is necessary to have contact during a divorce. Remember that nothing compels you to answer them or respond, even if they ask a question. It should become pretty clear that you have no interest in engaging when your only response is "Is that all?" You can create a third party entity who can handle your required discussions such as an attorney, family member or friend. Any responses that must be made can be funneled through that person.

Remember that the opposite of love is not hate, it's ambivalence. Reacting to their treachery gives them the concept that you are still attached no matter what form that reaction takes. Ambivalence is your strongest weapon.